shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Use "feeling words"
Yay
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
