I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
