I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
