My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
