Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
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i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
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I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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