yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
