so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
