i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
