We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
