what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
cat food counts as protein by the way
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
