That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
