I could have mohawked her pubes.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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