sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
