This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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