You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
ttyl tear gas
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
