no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
