Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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