STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
