And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You're like the curious george of whores
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
