Kiss
Puke
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
