I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize