After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
