i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
