My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
you made out with another girl for some wings
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
