anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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