she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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