And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
So. Much. Porn.
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