i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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