I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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