I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
