found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
