Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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