You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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