you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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