you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
