I feel like abortions should bother me more
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
