Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
