i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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