You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I think i got beer on your cat.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
