This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
