was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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