she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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