I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
