We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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