I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
