Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
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her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
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the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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