watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
