a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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