Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
