I think my vagina is haunted
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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