didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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