Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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