oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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