I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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