I hate your face
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
