I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
