What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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