it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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