He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
